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In Which I (Attempt To) Take A Stand

May 18, 2010

I have some things to say to you, Mr. Interloper. First of all, your name cannot, must not, and will not ever again be Wyatt. It makes you sound like a cowboy, and not a very good cowboy at that. A cowboy who spends all his time singing sad songs to farm animals. You-as-Wyatt had the support of my mother, who was convinced that I shouldn’t ignore my middle-of-the-night, deliriously-sleepy, utterly-indefensible nomenclature decisions, but I refuse to believe that Wyatt holds any sort of deep symbolism. (My mother, I should add, also gets excited when I tell her I’m having a bad writing day because she thinks it will make for an interesting blog entry. She clearly cannot be trusted. [Love you, Mom.])

Your new name, should you be interested in trying it on for size, is Tobias. Mom suggested compromising with Tobias Wyatt, which landed us right back in Dopey Cowboy territory again. The last name will have to wait. Actually, you probably don’t even merit a last name, which segues neatly into…

Second of all, you really should be aware that I can’t keep you around for very long. Things are getting way too crowded around here, and — what’s that? You’re planning on making yourself so integral to the storyline that I have no choice but to actually start caring about you as a character? You refuse to let me brush you aside like the extraneous product of a nocturnal fugue state that you are?

Right then. At least you have a tolerable name.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 18, 2010 9:37 pm

    Holy crap. That Flight of the Conchords link you left at our blog almost made me pee my pants. That is EXACTLY how Laura and I speak French. Perfection.

    • May 18, 2010 9:41 pm

      Haha, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Maybe you two should make your own version of the music video. :)

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